I work really hard for my money & to have a nice home along with nice things. I sweat, sell and manage all day long. So when i wan’t nice things for our place or life and you either don’t care or always have something negative about it i can’t even stand to look at you, let alone talk to you. i feel completely defeated right now in everything i do/say. like if i came home with $1,000,000 & wanted to buy us a house you’d say something along the lines of ” is that necessary” As if living well is a crime. or living at all is. i just want to run away and hid for a long time & be selfish. being selfish if i could be selfish i would, but i’ve never seemed to muster up enough courage to do so. My whole life has always been about other people & until my soul is completely black i will continue this life. The first time in quite some years that my depression has found it’s way back into my life. i always think it’s gone for good and then it just pops it’s ugly head up and says “look at me! look at me! I’m baaaaack!” life.